things i heart.

Sweet Friends

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, 

and it is only by this meeting 

that a new world is born."

- Anais Nin

I really have been realizing how many sweet friends I have today. Things have changed since high school and I love each of my friends a lot. I cherish our time together and how each of us met.

Through encouragement, tears, laughter, fights, and love I know I can trust and ask for encouragement any time!

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his friend: but woe to him that is alone when he fall; for he has not another to help him up"  

Ecclesiastes

Obstacles

We all face obstacles in life. But I feel like my life is an obstacle. Merely because of the series of events happening and everything just comes crashing down. Maybe things just aren't meant to be or maybe I'm really that unlucky. Regardless, life is hard. 

I say things on here I'd rarely saw out loud in real life. I am the non confrontational, don't like to upset people, or ruffle anyone's feathers. I do have feelings though. And in life I feel like I hold back a lot of things I feel and just try to bottle it in. And other times I just have to be honest..brutally honest at times. Probably could work on the brutal part though and focus on encouragement. 

Anyways as some would say that is "heavy" to talk about, but I'm really just ranting. Let's just say I have overcome most of my obstacles and am living life. 

Always a breathtaking moment for me here..

And these moments make my obstacles so diminutive compared to what others deal with in life. I then sat down and just watched the sunset (next to my castle) and thought about how selfish I am most of the time. It's not about me.

xoxo

Rachael

Delayed..

Totally haven't written anything important on here in the past two weeks.

Pretty crazy two weeks. I got a job with the Navy in Washington, D.C. (yay for reference letters?). I will be working as a youth coordinator for the next # of weeks. Woo.

Bowling has been on the downfall not really practicing much just hanging out and trying to just get my ducks in a row. And this week I am in Tampa, FL just going to the beach seeing my Tampa Project friends and everything else down here that I can do. Then I will fly home Friday and take the Praxis again. Dang.

Anyways just trying to have as much fun as I can with what summer will allow. Taking one day at a time and embracing every obstacle I face because its a blessing to be able to live another day. I love my friends down here and I get to go to a sandcastle competition tonight. What the heck! How fun does that sound? HA! And then back to the beach tomorrow. Thursday undecided flying home Friday morning! Woooo fun stuff.

Found this to be somewhat encouraging and hopefully everyone knows that you have only so much control over things that happen in your life! Stay thankful and strong during the hard time and embrace and love every minute of the good times because they don't always last for long.

Love yall!

Recapping..

Uhh, my legs hurt so bad I can barely walk. This beach bod is worth it I tell ya. I have had two pretty hard work outs in a row. But it really is worth it because I need to get fit for bowling. Odd to hear, but stamina is the name of the game (along with skill and good hand eye coordination of course). Other then my body hating me life has been pretty good. 

The secret is out which probably wasn't a secret at all just never spoken and still not spoken I just wrote it for all to see. On the previous blog of having very deep and strong feelings for this guy I like. WELL he (who shall not be named) read this blog of mine and found out my endless feelings for him. I mean this could be good or bad or creepy. Either way the secret is out or lack there of. 

Needless to say, God is faithful and always will be. So, if all else fails I'll have my God.

Words

I am a 20 year old girl, still learning in life and developing character by learning daily. Learning a lot about myself and reflecting on my actions this past year I have found multiple things I would like to work on, but one in general. My word choice. I guess I have the tendency to cut people down, but sometimes I honestly do not mean to do at all. People just take what I say negatively or poorly. That could be through texting or just the tone of my voice. So, I fully pray that I can change this tongue into only encouraging sayings. I want to having loving words dripping from my lips and not harsh and hurtful sayings that leave my friends or acquaintances bitter towards me.

I guess I have realized this more because this guy I am totally in love with has told me everything I have done wrong in the past month (nicely of course without making me feel too much like a piece of crap..) Many people don't say that to me, but he has.I can be shaped 1000 ways, but I want just one of those, to be the right way. I guess he says it with constructive criticism I usually get teary eyed because I don't want to hurt someone or anyone I love, honestly. I usually suck it up though because I have never been the one to cry until now I guess. My heart has become soft and not such a rock. I can't be weak though and I am sticking by it. Mentally tough.

“No matter how careful you are, there’s going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn’t experience it all. There’s that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should’ve been paying attention. 
Well, get used to that feeling. That’s how your whole life will feel some day. 
This is all practice.”
— Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters)

• For the first time in my life I guess I have to finally worry about someone else's feelings then my own. 
• I have to be careful to what I say.
• Slow to anger. 
• Think in the long term and not just the here and now. 
• I can't push too hard. 
• I gotta let God take control and pray daily for the future. 
• I can't get caught up in the moment or your smile. 
• I don't need to rush this and just take it slow. 
• You just might be the one I have been waiting for my whole life. 

For the righteous will never be moved;

he will be remembered forever.

He is not afraid of bad news;

his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD.

His heart is steady;

he will not be afraid,

until he looks in triumph on his adversaries.

Psalm 112:6 - 8

Mom

How did you find the energy, Mom
To do all the things you did,
To be teacher, nurse and counselor
To me, when I was a kid.

How did you do it all, Mom,
Be a chauffeur, cook and friend,
Yet find time to be a playmate,
I just can’t comprehend.

I see now it was love, Mom
That made you come whenever I'd call,
Your inexhaustible love, Mom
And I thank you for it all.